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photo & text by nacrowe
during my teaching days i absolutely loved teaching LORD OF THE FLIES (FABER AND FABER, 1954) by BRITISH author WILLIAM GOLDING. this was due in large part to its highly SUBVERSIVE core message surrounding how AUTHORITY is rooted in CULTURE.
you have these children that are marooned on an island after some unspecified world-ending event and what happens from there is INTRIGUING. you would think that this SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON-esque premise would result in a colonialist fever dream whereby 'CIVILIZATION' is established where there once was 'NOTHING.' the idea that in our ANTHROPOCENTRIC conception of reality, NATURE is something to be tamed and made SUBMISSIVE to our own designs and needs. in short order among the new inhabitants a SOCIAL ORDER is quickly established among, with a HIERARCHY based on BRUTE FORCE and an arbitrarily divined and ever-evolving set of RITUALS (i.e. "THE CONCH"). it is difficult to read and not quickly discern that GOLDING is not merely describing a set of list children in a deserted tropical locale, but rather the story of CIVILIZATION. how SYSTEMS OF POWER are established and maintained. what is ingeniously presented is a DARK FANTASY of innocents effectively being CORRUPTED by the eternal forces of GREED, STATUS and POWER that have motivated humans through time immemorial. the implication of such is that these motivations are part of HUMAN NATURE and that CULTURE cannot elevate us above such. in fact CULTURE may be the root of the problem as it is rooted in HUMAN NATURE. even in a vacuum, new RITUALS and HIERARCHAL STRUCTURES will emerge and over time we will SUBJUGATE NATURE and our peers in a never ending climb to ascend atop that greasy pole. it really is an amazing thought experiment since many people have the idea of escaping society. what they dont realize is that they cant separate themselves from CIVILIZATION. it is a part of your SELF-CONCEPT, your IDENTITY, even when stripping it or deny its affect, you are still interacting with the concept. furthermore, if you were successful in extricating yourself physically to a foreign 'BARREN' land, you would only be effectively spreading 'CIVILIZATION' to a new locale. LIKE A VIRUS. it is quite a DARK CYCLE to consider and something I always find intriguing to think about and investigate. all that in a novel normally taught in middle school. again, i always loved teaching LORD OF THE FLIES. it allowed for potent discussions about the NATURE OF CIVILIZATION and our individual role in supporting or supplanting such en masse. these themes are arguably more resonant now with our current domestic political situation than at any time in living memory. 
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photo & text by nacrowe
in the fall of 1998 i entered my freshman year of high school at a BOARDING SCHOOL in MASSACHUSETTS. the previous three years i spent living and going to school in NIGERIA, where my parents relocated for work and were still living at the time. before AFRICA, i grew up in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. its funny to look back on everything now, but arguably the CULTURE SHOCK of attending a BOARDING SCHOOL was a bigger DISRUPTION to my system than moving to AFRICA. for all of its cultural and political differences with the CALIFORNIA, NIGERIA was really not that different. sure you had to adjust to things like overt corruption when dealing with the police and reduced access to clear water and electricity, but really life in AFRICA was a variation on a theme.
BOARDING SCHOOL, however, was another beast entirely. it was an OPAQUE system filled with UNSPOKEN POWER HIERARCHIES and agreements. i found this period to be incredibly CONFUSING and still do to this day, especially given how it later fed into an equally mysterious college system that favored the BYZANTINE influence structures of the elite. which brings me to J.D. SALINGER's THE CATCHER IN THE RYE (LITTLE, BROWN & CO, 1951), a novel seemingly everyone has read in high school. funny enough, this was one of a dozen books i was assigned to read the summer before freshman year. it was a funny choice: a book about a kid who hates the PHONINESS of BOARDING SCHOOL that was being read by a kid about to enter an elite BOARDING SCHOOL. i had a hard time identifying with HOLDEN CAULFIELD. i couldnt figure out the source of his complaints and his gripe with his peers. maybe that was the point. maybe he was like MARLON BRANDO's character in THE WILD ONE stating "what have you got" when asked what he was rebelling against. maybe he is a cypher for youthful rebellion in general, unable to verbalize or locate his anger within the context of a COMPLICATED ADULT WORLD he is about to enter. i got that sort of existential dread, as i was soon to be leaving my parents a hemisphere away, but not the ANGER. not that sense of projection of FEAR and SELF-LOATHING misdirected at his peers. as i stated before, my original context of reading this book was within the confines of living and attending a BOARDING SCHOOL. as a primer to that experience, i didnt share his reaction. his fictional experience was that of a PRIMAL SCREAM directed outwards. mine was completely internal. the unrelenting competitiveness, the arcane rituals, the unspoken agreements, the double standards all led me to doubt myself. i entered a fish out of water and i left equally unsure of my place. i remember an older student in my dorm was busted for selling PCP on campus, but was quietly reinstated after a brief suspension, his father after all was a famous businessman from NEW ENGLAND and a soap magnate. i guess they wouldnt want to sour his reputation with public knowledge of his son's extracurricular activities. to make it worse the school had the father give a speech soon after about the business implications of BUDDHIST precepts surrounding the NOBLE EIGHTFOLD PATH. it was the height of hypocrisy. i could go on. a 'C' student was one of a handful that got into YALE UNIVERSITY, his father being a corporate lawyer in the auto industry. it was all CONFUSING and UNJUST. it was a great entry point into the real world. for me THE CATCHER IN THE RYE is about that moment when childhood ends and one becomes numb, jaded and less IDEALISTIC about their place in the world. maybe i wasnt that different from CAULFIELD after all. 
photo & text by nacrowe
i read HERMAN MELVILLE's MOBY DICK (HARPER & BROTHERS, 1851) back when i was an undergrad at RUTGERS UNIVERSITY. i was an english major and learned that junior year that because of my GPA i was eligible to purse an honors track, which meant more work. and a lot of it. so the context of my reading this book was in a specialized class meant to "prepare" you for writing a senior thesis, of which you had a year to research and write. what the class in reality was meant to do was wean out anyone the department deemed ineligible to purse the track further. it was intense.
and this book is INTENSE and ALL-ENCOMPASSING. the plot of the book is pretty simple and uninteresting, famously dealing with a captain seeking a SPERM WHALE somewhere off the coast of NEW ENGLAND. again, not that interesting. the power of the book lies in its almost encyclopedic presentation of the vast myriads of ways that relationship can be understood. MELVILLE essentially explores ad nauseam all the various CULTURAL, ECONOMIC, RELIGIOUS, EMOTIONAL, POLITICAL, METAPHYSICAL, and ALLEGORICAL understandings surrounding the figure of the WHALE. at least from a late 19th century coastal NEW ENGLAND perspective. this includes everything from CHRISTIAN RELIGIOUS ICONOGRAPHY to the ECONOMICS of SPERM OIL PRODUCTION and beyond. literally anything and everything you would ever want to know about SPERM WHALES and its impact on AMERICAN society in the mid-19th century is presented at some point in MOBY DICK. so the task of the reader in essence is in attempting to understand and balance all of the CULTURAL, EMOTIONAL, ECONOMIC, RELIGIOUS, POLITICAL, METAPHYSICAL and ALLEGORICAL implications of the situation when CAPTAIN AHAB seeks out his obsession. i remember when i was teaching at STUYVESANT HIGH SCHOOL there was another teacher that taught this book and i would often sit in on those classes, just hanging out in the back listening attentively while taking notes. listening to these students fight over the meaning of CAPTAIN AHAB's obsession was ENTHRALLING, because depending on which section you cited, there were arguments and counterarguments aplenty. there was no one definitive answer, just an overabundance of information to sift through and consider. it felt similar to when i took a class on the OLD TESTAMENT in college in which everyone argued over the meaning of scripture. it felt like a never ending stream of beautifully considered, compelling CONTRADICTIONS. so that is why i still love this book despite its notoriety for being overly OPAQUE and annoyingly MULTI-DIMENSIONAL. thinking about the MOBY DICK seemingly always makes me consider how our individual experience in life is but one LIMITED PERSPECTIVE of many and even attempting to draw meaning from such on its own is a truly COMPLEX, and somewhat FUTILE, endeavor. who knows why we make the choices we do and what the specific interior COGNITIVE and PYSCHOLOGICAL machinations that cause such. we are all ultimately prisoners to our own SOLIPSISTIC individual experience of reality. i remember doing well in that class almost two decades ago. but in the end why, you may ask, did CAPTAIN AHAB chase that WHALE? i still don't know. 
photo & text by nacrowe
i have a funny history with this classic of RUSSIAN literature. CRIME AND PUNISHMENT (RUSSKIY VESTNIK, 1867) by FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY was the first book i taught as an ENGLISH teacher and it was not by choice. but first i have to back up a bit.
in 2008 i graduated from TEACHERS COLLEGE COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY with a masters in the ENGLISH EDUCATION (and yes, i am aware my blog entries are often suspect in terms of grammar and syntax). at that point there was a hiring freeze across NYC and pretty much nationwide as old teaches were not retiring due to the downturn in the economy. effectively i was not able to find work despite having an IVY LEAGUE degree (not bragging, just stating the obvious) and administrative and peer recommendations from BROOKYLN TECH, a specialized "magnet" high school i student taught at as part of my degree. needless to say it was beyond frustrating and effectively was a good primer for my (brief) teaching degree in general. out of the blue i ended up taking a position at my alma mater in KUWAIT of all places. it didn't go well. maybe at some point i'll write about that experience, but effectively i returned stateside let down and pretty demoralized. i had interviewed with dozens of NYC schools before taking the KUWAIT gig out of desperation. this included STUYVESANT HIGH SCHOOL, which is essentially the premier public secondary institution in the country. look up their alumni list, its more impressive than most colleges. they called and asked if i was available to cover for a teacher soon to be on maternity leave. of course i was. i came in a few weeks in advance just to meet the other teachers and get a lay of the landscape, when the unthinkable happened. the teacher i was going to cover for had her water break on site. she was on her way to the hospital when i learned i was starting that day. period. the head of the english department walked me into his office where the class sets of books were to see what was available. i was handed the classic existentialist noveL CRIME AND PUNISHMENT to teach to my SOPHOMORES. easily one of the scariest moments of my life. i read the novel in college and was somewhat familiar with it, but i was walking into a lion's den not fully prepared by definition. teachers have been replaced because they couldn't handle the pressure of teaching to the brightest kids in the city. i will fully admit, some of those kids at 15 had me intellectually at 27. all i could do to compete was be better prepared. the other teachers told me this was the worst set of circumstances they had ever seen a new teacher come in under with the exception of one teacher. upon hearing this, that teacher interjected saying "nope, CROWE has it worse." her first day of teaching at STUYVESANT? SEPTEMBER 11, 2001. the school is a black from ground zero. so that is my history with the book. i do enjoy it because in essence it is a morality play the intensely religious DOSTOYEVSKY constructed as a way of reassuring himself that religious ideals like purity and devotion could still be viable in a rapidly changing cultural and economic RUSSIAN landscape. he utilizes quite a few inversions whereby characters that should hold a certain level of respect and grace fall way short while those at the bottom of the social ladder are almost saintlike. probably my biggest takeaway from the novel was its question about the NATURE OF PUNISHMENT, whether being judged by the community via a legal system was worse than how we judge ourselves individually. the legal system in essence stands in for the kingdom of heaven and our own potential absolution from fear, guilt and punishment. to what extent is that absolution a matter of personal choice or circumstance? because of the deep, introspective nature of this line of questioning which seemingly questioned religious authority by seeking a more personal relationship with the almighty (as opposed to just passive participation in religious ritual), DOSTOYEVSKY and this novel in particular get labeled as early examples of proto-EXISTENTIALISM. but he wasn't rejecting GOD. he was searching for a deeper connection and the questioning of the RUSSIAN ORTHODOX CHURCH was implicit in that search. funny how they like him now that his ideas along with other 19th century writers like TOLSTOY, GOGOL, and PUSHKIN have lifted RUSSIAN LITERATURE to global recognition. at the time of its inception this novel was effectively heresy. you don't need me to tell you to check out this novel, but you should. deep down you knew that already. 
photo & text by nacrowe
THE MINDSCAPE OF ALAN MOORE (SHADOWSNAKE, 2005) is an unconventional documentary in that it is essentially an extended monologue by which the legendary BRITISH COMIC BOOK writer (of V FOR VENDETTA, THE WATCHMEN and FROM HELL fame) recounts his beliefs and philosophies regarding the sacred and transformative power of the written word.
raised in the dreary MIDLANDS factory town of NORTHAMPTON, MOORE presents a bleak picture of a dreary landscape where his childhood ambitions and imagination went decidedly internal and eventually provided the key to his physical, external escape from an arduous life of hard labor like those of his parents and neighbors. in his worldview, external structures and organizations like schools, governments and religions are tools of mental and emotional indoctrination with their own aims and agendas, often ECONOMIC, leading the way. interestingly, MOORE brings up this notion that SPIRITUALITY through western PAGANISM promotes an outlook that takes into account the complexity of the NATURAL WORLD and our interconnected and interdependent position within it. this is in direct confrontation with that of stewardship model often promoted through CHRISTIANITY, which entails a sense of hierarchy and ultimately disconnect from our surroundings and our effects upon it. its an interesting take and very reminiscent of traditional HINDU belief systems ive come across over the years. i think this documentary serves as a decent primer into the world of his writings, which often feature dystopian landscapes and oppressive, autocratic political systems that serve to squash human CREATIVITY and VITALITY. you get the sense from listening to MOORE that the written word is something sacred and eternal that cannot be dismantled unless we consent to it. for language and communication is an internal process and it is only when we consent to altering our self-image through manipulations in language that we give away our personal and collective sense of IDENTITY and INDIVIDUALITY. it makes even more sense when you consider the current stateside political climate and the lengths to which the right will attempt to attack SYMBOLS, WORDS and CULTURAL MARKERS. they arent dumb. they well know that these vehicles each communicate ideas and ideas are dangerous to an authoritarian. would be so interested in listening to him talk about TRUMP and the modern radio/podcast/television echo chambers and their assault on language and how such corrupts our very sense of self-perception. 
photo & text by nacrowe
i first read THOMAS MANN's novella DEATH IN VENICE (VERLAG, 1912) for a comparative literature class in college and i was immediately taken with how it portrayed the PERFORMATIVE NATURE OF GENDER. the class itself was titled "Literature of Masculinity" and was very much about viewing male characters with an eye towards the prescriptions of NORMATIVE CULTURE they were inhabiting. probably the most interesting class i took in undergrad.
DEATH IN VENICE concerns itself with an author named GUSTAV VON ASCHENBACH, reportedly a nod to GUSTAV MAHLER, who has writer's block on a trip to VENICE and becomes obsessed with a young boy he sees at a beachside resort at a distance. what makes the story interesting, which on itself is more than creepy (and apparently an extrapolation of a similar holiday obsession of MANN himself), is how MANN portrays ASCHENBACH's behavior. much like other beach goers, the past-his-prime writer has gone through a series of rituals with regard to makeup to present himself (in his mind) as being more youthful. the reality is that he is a grotesque caricature of such and the makeup administered fails to cover up the ill effects of cholera that will eventually take his life. in essence we are all guilty of wearing a mask to better fit in with society and placate a false image of ourselves. usually this type of behavior is projected onto woman, but MANN shows how men are just as susceptible to such pressures. we all unyieldingly perform a MASCULINITY that is sanctioned by the precepts of our surrounding NORMATIVE CULTURE. and it is a PERFORMANCE. there is also a strong sense of VOYEURISM throughout this narrative. it is never clear if the young aristocratic POLISH boy named TADZIO ever actually notices ASCHENBACH, or if the doomed author is just projecting momentarily glances as being more than such. as an audience we will never know, as we are too voyeurs into this charade. much like the ALFRED HITCHCOCK film REAR WINDOW (PARAMOUNT, 1954) showcases an ongoing melodrama interpreted by paraplegic sitting in wheelchair watching his neighbors from a fixed perspective, which mirrors that of the movie audience, we as readers are similarly both engaged and held at a distance from the action in DEATH IN VENICE. much like the TRANSFORMATIVE NATURE OF MAKEUP, there is also a TRANSFORMATIVE NATURE IN THE WRITTEN WORD. language both engages and holds us at bay from reality. living abroad for so many years, i was always aware of how men carried themselves and how they attempted to project a sense of MASCULINITY through their appearance, dress and demeanor. its all culturally prescribed and reading DEATH IN VENICE in college made me aware of such. it has been immensely useful in that sense. it also made witnessing hyper-aggressive forms (like in KUWAIT, ALBANIA or even STATEN ISLAND) seem that much more like EMASCULATED reactions to a deeply felt sense of MASCULINE FRAILTY. their MASCULINITY is caught up in warped projections of DOMINANCE and CONTROL, which in today's complicated world has left them with just FEAR and VIOLENCE. MANN made such transparent for me, which is the real gift of this narrative for me. 
photo by nacrowe
i always found it interesting when watching films related to warfare that seemingly 99% of them portray such as a glamorous activity. dont get me wrong, i understand the necessity for armed conflict and i am fully aware that there is a sense of camaraderie that comes from it. i also understand the potential for honor and valor in safeguarding your fellow soldier and the importance of securing specific mission objectives. i get all that. but on a fundamental level, the act of organized destruction by state actors is something to be avoided, not celebrated. if only for the suffering and death that follows, most often for those to whom only unfortunate circumstance has rendered them culpable. i've seen the repercussions of such in locales such as KOSOVO, CAMBODIA, NIGERIA, BOSNIA, CYPRUS, VIETNAM and elsewhere and the consequences are the same. nothing good comes from wanton suffering.
nothing. and that is why on some foundational level, famed 20th century REALIST writer ERNEST HEMINGWAY understood such and incorporated it into his famed WWI novel A FAREWELL TO ARMS (SCRIBNER, 1929). this novel is centered around the love affair between an ambulance driver and a nurse who meet and ultimately fall in love during his recuperation. in typical biographical fashion, this scenario plays on a similar experience HEMINGWAY himself experience during WWI in ITALY. spoiler alert: the nurse and her child pass away at the close of the book and the driver is isolated, both in terms of the physical loss of his potential family, but also emotionally and spiritually depleted. its a great metaphor for the real consequences of war, as there are never real winners. war is inherently pyrrhic by nature as it leaves everyone morally and spiritually barren. and i cant think of an exception. i cant come up with an armed conflict that has not extracted a severe cost in capital and the more precious commodity of human suffering. maybe someone out there can? for me A FAREWELL TO ARMS is a seminal expression of that primal understanding that armed conflict is a necessary yet consequential activity that deserves a respect not paid when seen through the rose-colored lenses of warmongers and profiteers who perpetuate propaganda in the films we watch and news we consume. deciding on conflict as a course of corrective action is a sacred decision that leaves no one unblemished and ennobled. by falling into it we descend into its own deceptive logic and nobody is the better for it. stating anything else would be a deception. a lie and a big one at that. and us AMERICANS, we love our big lies. 
photo & text by nacrowe
JUST KIDS (ECCO, 2010) is the transcendently written, award-winning (2010 NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FOR NONFICTION) debut memoir by the legendary PUNK ROCK writer/singer/poet PATTI SMITH. more importantly it is a touching coda to special relationship between SMITH and transgressive photographer and collaborator ROBERT MAPPLETHORPE. this book is very much a celebration of his life and legacy and the bond that saw both push forward with their respective transformative and epoch-defining creative output.
i have already written at length in a previous piece about my affection for her past and present work, so i invite readers to check such out as i will not go into such here but wanted to acknowledge such. in essence, like BOB DYLAN or LOU REED, she is one of those select few artists whose creative choices influenced what was possible for future artists to date. but upon her arrival in NYC in the 1960s after leaving a troubled past in central NEW JERSEY, she was just another insecure, sensitive, literate soul seeking connection in the big city. it really is amazing how resilient she was given her strict, isolating upbringing as a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS and having to deal with real-life issues like having an abortion in the context of such a conservative time with draconian ideals of femininity. to me she is the artist that showed the way that women could compete with men on their own terms. period. in MAPPLETHORPE she found a fellow bohemian street urchin with an artist's visual eye. his work is both transgressive and beautiful as it depicts the underrepresented JOHN RECHY-like world of unbridled and proud homosexuality in a world that didn't recognize or appreciate such. his work is a beacon to both freedom and expression. when you consider that many of his photographs were created during the birth and later height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, you really get a sense of its courageousness and strident individuality. their bond, both romantic and later artistic was a true collaboration. both created work that was direct and piercing and completely transgressed notions of GENDER and SEXUALITY. to learn of their early struggles is both bittersweet and unflinchingly romantic in a nontraditional sense. their work was their children and his ultimate demise after succumbing to the effects of AIDS in the late 80s is truly tragic. but what a beautifully written expression of their bond for posterity. lovingly crafted as only a poet can, this is likely the most superbly written memoir i have read to date. i encourage anyone and everyone to seek it. 
photo manipulation by nacrowe
when most think of GONZO journalist and famed american writer HUNTER S. THOMPSON, my guess is that usually some mental image appears of an indulgent eccentric that did everything in excess: women, drugs and firearms. this largely self-perpetuated caricature (even literally a character in the DOONSEBURY comic strip) as a crackpot by some belied a public image that never quite did his intellect justice.
it is my argument that added to the above list should be two further things he did in excess: freedom and empathy. it were these two indulgences that helped inform his ability to become a singular writer in the vein of era-defining authors like JACK KEROUAC and F. SCOTT FITZGERALD. he cared deeply as only an author could for the words of the united states constitution, which he held sacrosanct, and chose to pursue those freedoms allotted to us as AMERICAN citizens. THOMPSON can almost be seen as a high priest of the constitution and for him running for public office, shooting his firearms and even the act of writing were all part of his adoration at the altar of the ENLIGHTENMENT and specifically THOMAS JEFFERSON, ALEXANDER HAMILTON and JOHN LOCKE-ian liberal political philosophy. what i am trying to express is that THOMPSON was a deeply moral thinker who cared very much about those very freedoms he pursued to excess. this is why his suicide was so truly upsetting due to the fact that he likely felt the constitution he so held in high esteem was being trampled upon by charlatans like GEORGE W. BUSH and his cronies in DONALD RUMSFELD, DICK CHENEY, ALBERTO GONZALEZ and KARL ROVE among others. its hard to imagine how he would have felt about the current TRUMP ADMINISTRATION which makes BUSH and his ilk feel like the JV team of nefarious corruption. it is truly shocking how defiled and divided our national name has become in the last few years. had he survived my hop is that THOMPSON would have continued to use his pen in the tradition of JONATHAN SWIFT or THOMAS PAINE. his absence is still deafening nearly 15 years after his death. can't think of anyone who has taken on the challenge which is depressing. almost as depressing as the thought of how few AMERICANS actually read, instead glued to their cable news bubbles or worse, social networks. perhaps we as a nation have lost the power to think for ourselves. perhaps the language of the spectacle is the only thing that unites us. the idea of the communal event around the hearth of the tv. as a former english teacher myself, i question regularly the importance of the written word in an era where communication is devalued. perhaps it is better that THOMPSON didn't live long enough to witness the rise of the EMOJI and GIF and the TWEET. perhaps he is a different era. the more i think about it the more depressed it makes me. so i'll stop now. 
photo manipulation by nacrowe
i remember in SEPTEMBER 2001 moving to SACRAMENTO from KUWAIT in the horrible aftermath of 9/11. it was my second move in two years and my third high school overall. i just remember feeling disconnected from my family and being in a hick town surrounded by cartoonishly jingoistic young republican youth didn't help matters.
my english teacher had some term paper we were supposed to write based on a list of prescribed authors. this dude TOM ROBBINS had an asterisk that said i had to get parental permission to read it so obviously my choice was predetermined. i read ANOTHER ROADSIDE ATTRACTION (DOUBLEDAY 1971) in short order and ROBBINS remains a favorite to this day. probably the only thing i gained during my time out there, apart from my contemporaneous exploration ofGUSTAV MAHLER and the pre-WWII AUSTRIAN SECESSIONIST ART movement (think GUSTAV KLIMT, EGON SCHIELE and OSKAR KOKOSCHKA). what i love about ROBBINS style is his love for the diatribe, the side road, the long overly-descriptive detour from the main plot that he seemingly indulged in multiple times a chapter. after reading HERMAN MELVILLE years later i can see some context for this style, but i was taken aback at the time that you could do that. when you read a ROBBINS novel, you very much have to submit to his will and let him be your guide, as he will get into excruciating detail into seeming red herrings that don't necessarily contribute to the narrative arc of the story, some might, some don't. it keeps you on your toes and his preternatural ability for sumptuous, indulgent description makes these odd-road ventures wholly worthwhile. its very much a style about the trip and not the destination. the plot itself is almost an excuse for the language, which is beyond unique. all of his novels are well-worth reading. i recommend his work enthusiastically and have done so with former students over the years. he is definitely on my shortlist. 
photo manipulation by nacrowe
you ruined my childhood. that's what i loved hearing from my high school students after having them read ANGELA CARTER's genius feminist reinterpretation of classic fairy tales from her 1979 short story collection THE BLOODY CHAMBER (PENGUIN, 1979). i always loved the idea of a palimpsest, which is an artwork that has layers created over time. think of a wall in NYC that has graffiti, flyers and "post no bills" scribbled and glued on top of one another. there are layers of meaning literally stacked on each other. same with FAIRY TALES, most were written in FRANCE in the 1700s as a way of controlling young women. many of the stories are exceedingly misogynist and artifacts of their era. many got reinterpreted in GERMANY in the 1800s and then again in 1900s in the UNITED STATES, most predominantly by WALT DISNEY. in many ways the DISNEY films are relaying a similar message about what is expected of young women, namely to seek marriage and motherhood as validation in a male-dominated society. it is super interesting and most don't even give it a second thought. that is why CARTER and her reinterpretations are so shocking to kids. if you know the basic narrative and its variations, then if you are thrown a new interpretation these new alterations become cogniscent choices and oftentimes criticisms of earlier texts. for CARTER it feels almost as though she is correcting the narrative and releasing it from its chauvinistic worldview. the fact that such is jarring really showcases the level to which our basic identity in western society is built upon such gender power imbalances. needless to say, my students had a hard time with DISNEY films thereafter. but my hope was that they gained a critical eye towards the relatioship between a coded message and its intended audience. ah, critical thinking. too bad they can't put that in a scantron test. american education system is screwed. good luck. 
it's funny. there's a lot about writer ERNEST HEMINGWAY that i don't like or identify with; his killing of animals for sport, macho sense of white privilege, womanizing, etc. that being said he was of his time for better or worse. but for my money for a 30 period from the 1920s through to the 1950s he was one of the most adventurous both in terms of his wanderlust and his editing. yes i said it. when i think of what i like about HEMINGWAY, its his ability to showcase complex psychology using concise declarative sentences with minimal superfluous decorations like fancy adjectives and obscure references. in essence, the opposite of my writing style. i am aware that this style came about from his time as a journalist both stateside and abroad as a war correspondent for the KANSAS CITY STAR during the spanish civil war of the 1930s. he is a case study in economy. to say the most with the least. its not minimal in the sense of a WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS poem where he is playing with the form itself, for HEMINGWAY i believe he was more interested in the conveying a thought like a straight line to the heart. in a way its kind of a similar ethos to punk rock, three chords and the truth except with him its a subject, verb, object and a typewriter. i've read and taught HERMAN MELVILLE's MOBY DICK (1851) in my prior life as a secondary english teacher. what's intellectually stimulating about it is its breadth of knowledge about nearly every aspect of whaling in northeast america in the late 18th century. it's encyclopedic. the exercise in reading that book, beside its volume, is trying to surmise which religious, cultural, economic, political allusion to attach to a given part of the narrative. several times the actual plot works on several of these levels simultaneously, which gives the book depth. so basically MOBY DICK is both massive in terms of its breadth and depth. HEMINGWAY isn't interested in that with THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA (1952). to me the plot is more of a rorschach test where you can enjoy it for whatever you want it to be. the biblical story of job, sure. a treatise on the hardships related to aging, absolutely. an expression of HEMINGWAY'S depleted vitality and interest in life, maybe. to me HEMINGWAY presents something to project onto, as apart to MELVILLE where it feels more like an endurance test, like a marathon. love them both, but i feel the superior trick is to view the reader as an equal partner in the creation of meaning through the written word. this was HEMINGWAY's calling card and gift as a writer. respecting his reader. 
photo & text by nacrowe
during my undergraduate years at RUTGERS i wrote a senior thesis on film noir and a key feature of those films is a corrosive depiction of women as corrupters. often male protagonists impotently speak via voice-overs, attempting to frame a narrative that inevitably they were never able to control.
musician/artist/producer/fashion designer/actress/writer/badass KIM GORDON of SONIC YOUTH fame in her memoir GIRL IN A BAND (HARPER COLLINS, 2015) in a similar fashion attempts to make sense and contextualize the trauma of her recent divorce. in an inversion of the film noir cliche i outlined above, her painful retelling of their doomed relationship if anything doesn't reduce her ex-partner and ex-bandmate THURSTON MOORE to that of a lazy literary trope. it is my understanding that her presenting this information was meant to accurately describe the insight gained from such a painful ordeal that ultimately deprived her a partner and collaborator and place it within the proper context of her upbringing and fraught relationships with her brother and father. unlike those noir films, her compassionate insights into these men ultimately humanizes them, especially MOORE. what i really appreciated this book was her honesty. no doubt knowing her public image as an icon for female empowerment, the vulnerability she displayed in explaining why she found herself in the familiar trap of suppressing her ego for the men in her life is a daring move. you really get the sense of struggle throughout her entire music/art career. you also get a well-rounded, first-hand look at the early 80s concurrent NO WAVE music scene and burgeoning NYC art scene surrounding street art. she comes across a someone curious and relentlessly fearless in taking advantage of what opportunities came her way. she doesnt not come across as an opportunist, rather as a passionate curator constantly searing for new ideas and inspirations. i feel a kinship with that as someone who grew up around unfamiliar people in unfamiliar countries. her upbringing in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA by way of brief stints in HONG KONG and HAWAI'I gave her something of a THIRD CULTURE KID vibe. they say THIRD CULTURE KIDS (children that grow up in a country not their own) are qualitatively better able to navigate life's upheavals, having dealt with such stress during their impressionable formative years. if anything, her curiosity for art, music, design, and love only get stronger as the narrative evolves, almost in contrast to the arc of her personal life. i'm a fan of her work, both in and out of SONIC YOUTH and recommend this book highly for anyone interested in her career as well as anyone interested in the NYC art and indie music scenes of 80s and 90s by a big player in both. well worth it. 
photo manipulation by nacrowe
one of my all-time favorite writers. and not just because he writes about the part of brooklyn my family is from. in the united states there is this force-fed optimism shoved down our throats since birth through our education systems and mass media that basically propagates the narrative that if you work hard enough, good things will happen. reading any HUBERT SELBY JR novel essentially an exercise in looking the AMERICAN DREAM straight in the face and laughing at it. and not one of those belly laughs were you see the folly, but one of those nervous ones were you realize how much of your identity is swallowed up in this hollow fantasy. the three novels of his i am familiar with are LAST EXIT TO BROOKLYN (1964), THE DEMON (1976) and REQUIEM FOR A DREAM (1978). two obviously have been made into excellent film adaptations by ULI EDEL and DARREN ARANOFSKY, respectively. love them both but such will be the topic for another post. what unites them all is a sense of competing drives, not necessarily good vs bad, but constructive vs destructive tendencies brought on by ambition. the central question of his novels is "what is it that we want?" and "what is the price of attaining it to your psyche?" his characters tend to have what SIGMUND FREUD would recognize as a very strong will to self-destruct, or as he termed it, a "death-drive." all of his protagonists (incidentally all share the name "Harry" in his novels) seek validation through community, money, vice, or otherwise and in each case they get into trouble. its almost like he chooses each novel as a way of elucidating different facets of how the AMERICAN DREAM is a hoax and a quixotic fallacy on par with any other human construction (family, religion, community) used to motivate a sense of identity. in terms of narrative the protagonist's character arc is inverted, as you undoubtedly encounter them initially at their highest point, the peak of their powers and sanity. from here on out its a downward spiral, with any solace in brief periods of calm merely red herrings making the free-fall to come that much more brutal and inhumane. it is a dark, bleak and ultimately realistic portrayal of reality. when i read his work i am often thinking about my own motivations, goals and what the actual cost of such are. yes in america there is opportunity, but what is the price of the success we seek? what are you giving up to achieve it and fundamentally who are you at the end of that process? what has that process done to your sense of self? that is the gift of his work in my opinion. they are almost bitterly self-reflective in nature in a way few others are. side note: as a former english teacher i really appreciate the fact that his characters are so singular and well-constructed that HUBERT SELBY JR imposed a very unique writing style where he would not use quotes and never specifies what characters say what at the end of sentence. characters speak in all caps and by context you know who said what without being told. it is a really neat trick that just further showcases the depth of his writing. other side note: THE SMITHS' THE QUEEN IS DEAD album is named after a chapter in LAST EXIT TO BROOKYLN. just saying. BOOK REVIEW | "ENGLAND'S DREAMING: ANARCHY, SEX PISTOLS, PUNK ROCK AND BEYOND" BY JON SAVAGE7/16/2019 
photo by nacrowe
essentially this is the book on punk.
ENGLAND'S DREAMING (ST. MARTIN'S PRESS, 1991) by JON SAVAGE goes into the cultural and socio-political morass that was 1970s england, which birthed the whole scene in tandem with their american counterparts. central to the whole story is the singular figure of enfant terrible MALCOLM MCLAREN who was essentially the precursor to what we would now deem an internet troll. his whole cause célèbre was coming up with interesting attention-grabbing press events to both stick it to the uppercrust of the british establishment and promote his businesses, including a boutique store called SEX that he sold garments and wares designed in consultation with his partner VIVIEN WESTWOOD. so essentially the SEX PISTOLS were assembled to promote a business, which is a fact i love. they are as manufactured with intent to exploit a dormant market as the BACKSTREET BOYS, N'SYNC and NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK were decades later. its just a fact, i still love them and appreciate their artistic contributions to modern music. its just an interesting fact given the later 1980s HARDCORE and INDIE ROCK scenes that channeled this scene into their own local scenes with a heavy DO IT YOURSELF ethic. this scene was anything buy DIY given that most of the major players on both sides of the pond were on major labels, including THE CLASH (CBS), THE RAMONES (SIRE), PATTI SMITH (ARISTA), TELEVISION (ELEKTRA) and of course THE SEX PISTOLS (EMI / WARNER BROS / VIRGIN). you can also see punk as a return to basic rock formula's of the 1950s as most of these bands initially started out retreading then 20+ year old CHUCK BERRY riffs, despite their claims to the contrary and supposed revolutionary posturing. i think the reason later musicians, most notably KURT COBAIN who later sought out SAVAGE for interviews in the british press specifically because of this book, respect this book is due to its empathy for the subject matter without romanticization or worse, hagiography. SAVAGE largely comes off level-headed in his analysis of the movement, at times letting his subjects speak for themselves and complicating a very messy period with a very messy influence on modern music. bottom line: this book is a must read for anyone interested in punk rock. read this first and then everything else. 
photo by nacrowe
a few weeks i came across a worn 1967 first draft copy of ROBERT K. MASSIE's historical recounting of the fall of TSARIST RUSSIA, NICHOLAS AND ALEXANDRA (ATHENEUM, 1967).
this is a must-read for anyone interested in RUSSIA. there was a period years ago where i learned that i was accepted into the peace corps but was waiting to be alerted as to my destination. what a time! knowing you're life was gonna dramatically change but not knowing where to prepare for. at the time i was almost certain i was gonna get UKRAINE only to later learn it was ALBANIA. during that period i read everything i could about RUSSIAN history. what makes this book compelling is that it takes the point of view of the monarchy as they tried to figure out how to hold the country together as well as save their young son ALEXEI who was suffering from hemophilia. essentially due to a lack of platelets in his blood he would bleed profusely and sometimes lose consciousness. this caused the family to seek out unconventional methods. MASSIE knew about this since his own child had the same affliction, giving his prose an added air of empathy for his subject. enter RASPUTIN. as a mystic from the eastern URAL mountains this soothsayer made his way into the inner workings of the royal family when he was able to calm the young prince and allay his suffering. its a fascinating story that dives deep into the psychology of both desperation and parasitism. the idea that a royal family with all the means of state and industry could be so easily manipulated by an unscrupulous leech just goes to prove how powerful emotions like hope can be. it trumps reason. MASSIE makes clear that this near-fetishistic idolatrous swooning over the royal family by the RUSSIAN masses was mirrored with the family's regard from RASPUTIN. to them he was RUSSIA. just fascinating. for obvious reasons this novel is all the more prescient now with our current political climate. highly recommended read. will not disappoint. 
artwork by nacrowe
sometimes there is art that cuts so deep that they inevitably remold your worldview. i count MARTIN SCORSESE's 1988 film THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST on that list. it makes me question the root of any belief i hold. it compels me to examine the nature of doubt each time i watch it.
based on the NIKOS KAZANTZAKIS 1955 novel, this film like its source material explores the dual nature of christ: the idea of him being fully human and divine at the same time. the film really gets at the heart of the origins of faith and the struggle that comes with the weight of power and responsibility, as jesus would've felt when learning of his fate that he had to be sacrificed for the benefit of all humanity. its that struggle that continually draws me back to the story, not so much the religious overtones. but if you are of the religious persuasion, as KAZANTZAKIS (greek orthodox) and SCORSESE (catholic) most definitely are, the film is a helpful dissection of the root of belief since the film asks what happens if jesus had chosen NOT to die on the cross, but fulfill his human desires of connection by finding love and raising a family. if anything the film explores and answers that "why." now i don't want to give the film away, more just to say most emphatically that if you haven't seen it you must. it is expertly acted by WILLEM DAFOE as jesus christ and HARVEY KEITEL as judas iscariot. DAVID BOWIE even makes a masterful appearance as pontius pilate. the dialogue was masterfully written in the modern vernacular of the time, which gives the film a raw edge that allows the themes to cut deeper as opposed to using king james english as other films by CECIL B. DEMILLE and others had done before (think THE TEN COMMANDMENTS), which is equally a construction. there is no doubt that during that period a common carpenter would've spoken a common pedestrain form of aramaic, so the dialogue choice is beyond apt. the film also has one of the most evocative scores ever courtesy of PETER GABRIEL which i would put up their with anything ENNIO MORRICONE or BERNARD HERRMANN ever produced. the score infuses vocals and instrumentation from the region into a lush evocative soundscape that instantaneously draws you into the world of the film. PASSION: MUSIC FOR THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST is required listening. months ago the DEER GOD team had the pleasure of attending a joint exhibition at LAST RITES GALLERY in manhattan put on by METAL BLADE RECORDS for polish painter SYLWIA MAKRIS and sculptor TOMASZ GOORNICKI and the artwork they produced for polish metal band BEHEMOTH's recent I LOVED YOU AT YOUR DARKEST record. i had the pleasure of speaking with GOORNICKI about his sculpture (pictured below) depicting an uncrucified christ and no doubt, he was quick to state it was influenced by both the KAZANTZAKIS novel and SCORSESE film. he felt in poland that faith unfortunately was a matter of national identity and that inherent in true belief is a sense of doubt. his sculpture was an attempt to draw people into examining the dual nature of christ and the significance of his sacrifice by invoking doubt (no cross, no stigmata = no sacrifice). some would call that heresy, as the sculpture could not be exhibited in poland apparently due to fear of retribution, but i would say that his work requires self-examination and thoughtfulness for it to bear fruit, which is the sign of any good art. at least in my opinion. check out the film and if this topic sparks an interest, you must read the novel. 
photo by lj avalos 
art by nacrowe
i look at female musicians these days and i feel terrible.
its cliche to say that musicians that function in today's media structure have mastered the art of marketing and social media, which largely feels like a race to the bottom. condense anything thoughtful and intelligent into a 5 second video clip or picture that likely will only be glanced at in passing to other more immediately stimulating (and more-than-likely intellectually stultifying ) content. to me PATTI SMITH represents unimpeachable, uninhibited, undiluted artistic authenticity on par with any of her heroes such as WILLIAM BLAKE, PAUL VERLAINE, ARTHUR RIMBAUD or CHARLES BAUDELAIRE. her first memoir JUST KIDS is required reading as it parses through in detail her troubles and insecurities that she ultimately transcended through her work and indomitable spirit to survive, quite literally. dealing with issues surrounding abortion, poverty, growing up a jehovah's witness, abuse, self-worth and losing friends to HIV/AIDS, it is really quite captivating both her ambition and the depth of her lyrical content. her inspiring biography aside, she challenged men head on. now that may reveal something about me, given that i am a privileged white male, but from my vantage point her artistry was her selling point. she wasn't presenting herself as palatable to the male gaze. if anything it was her gaze that mattered. it is problematic to compare her to different eras of female artists, but kind of inevitable. there is a part of me that really appreciates it when artists challenge their audience. when i hear past and present artists like BILLIE EILISH, PJ HARVEY, ADELE, FKA TWIGS, BJORK or transgender artists like ANOHNI and LAURA JANE GRACE, or even male artists like PERRY FARRELL, PRINCE, DAVID BOWIE, LITTLE RICHARD and LOU REED challenge normative prescriptions of beauty it makes me smile. it makes me think there is hope from all these anemic, hollowed-out contorted space alien disfigured bodies that many of these celebrities inevitably become as time paces ever slowly forward. just accept your humanity. even if your audience doesn't. that to me is what PATTI SMITH represents as a cultural figure. 
artwork by nicholas crowe
as a former english teacher, i could wax poetic indefinitely about the genius of BRAVE NEW WORLD by 20th century british writer ALDOUS HUXLEY. that narrative in particular effectively presents a future scenario where all modes of shared experience and connection (familial, religious, sexual, etc) have been rooted away through technology. especially now in the age of social media i find myself always reaching back to it, as its implications become ever more relevant.
but in my mind his later years are more compelling since he explored eastern concepts (specifically hinduism) and very much made an attempt to present them effectively to the west. along with ALAN WATTS' work presenting zen buddhism, he is one of the earliest to bridge this divide. check out this interview he did back in 1962. of particular interest are his observations of the metaphysical and psychological richness encapsulated in the image of shiva dancing (starts around 15:10 mark). |
January 2023
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